Senior Prom 2012

The elegant young couple

Wrist casts are being worn this year

At the pre-prom gathering

Old friends

Line-up of beauty

Handsome dominoes

Proud parents

Summa Cum Laude

Life has been a real roller coaster these past few weeks. My one person show opening in Philadelphia on Mother's day Sunday... up! That same night my Mom being hospitalized in Connecticut...down! And many many more ups and downs coming thick and fast, sometimes seemingly within the same minute. But here's a nice solid thing that happened in the midst of much confusion: Hugh was awarded a gold medal in the National Latin Examination, receiving a certificate Summa Cum Laude for Outstanding Performance!

Labor omnia vincit (I hope!)

Friend Friday (scroll down)

"Blues for Scrooge" puppet show/ musical

Happy Birthday Baby!

My baby turned 14 last week.
Which seems almost unbelievable because I remember his baby days so clearly...



A child who has never once had to be reminded to eat his vegetables, a rara avis indeed! Happy Birthday wonderful H.

My welcome home!

I'm just back home from a week painting on Monhegan Island, fourteen miles out from the coast of Maine. When I stumbled in the door around midnight this vase of flowers was the first thing I saw...very sweet! (I think my guys missed me.)



On the way home in the car my oldest son P, age 16, texted me (I was not driving at that point, no worries) with the wonderful news that he'd just won his latest cross country meet, set a new personal best and a new school record and is now ranked nationally! Oh my gosh. Wow! My husband stitched together these shots of P running then (middle school) and now...how quickly time races by. I was so sorry I'd had to miss this particular race. But what happy news to come home to!




End result: I brought home 14 paintings in various stages of finish. I have two galleries in Maine that show my work and have been asking for more, so this was really a business trip believe it or not! I'm also gearing up for a one person show at a gallery in Philadelphia next spring. My plein air work is not standard quaint landscape views, so despite these being inspired by Maine, the work does not seem to be limited to a regional audience (thank goodness!) Here are all fourteen pieces being shown to the sun this morning. I unpacked the pieces, most still sloppily wet, and took advantage of the brilliant weather to try and dry them a little. The squirrels and morning doves are usually my first audience after a business trip.

Henry and Me (an hour ago)

Happy pink moment-
after the storm sunset beams
on my smiling boy



photo credit: Paul Downs

Marbles

Knuckling down
to some serious play-
a child's work

MANY HANDS

Many YOUNG Hands
Taken at Colonial Day, an all day re-enactment staged by my son H's history class. The printing activity was extremely popular (and crowded!) I climbed on top of the table to get the shot and was made very aware of my middle-agedness when I needed a strong young arm to help me get down! ;-)

Overhead

A busy summer beach, and nobody seems to notice the approaching helicopter except two boys...

Hard Times with Henry

Poor Henry and Poor Us
We have been having lots of trouble with Henry lately. Aggression, rage, anxiety, general misery. It's hard to describe the suddenness and intensity of Henry's rages and mood swings. Paul has been absolutely heroic about coming home from work to help me; particularly stressful for him as he is working like a dog to keep his business afloat. But at age 15, Henry is six foot three and 195 pounds and there is no way I can cope with him for long periods on my own (and I have the bruises to prove it!) Keeping him gainfully occupied (like they do at his wonderful school) is somewhat helpful to his mood stability, but it's difficult for me to devote every second of my day to this as I have two other kids and the usual housewifely duties, not to mention the fact that there is no way I can manage this young man physically by myself in most situations. And it has become impossible to find Henry sitters or helpers...anyone know any former NFL linebackers turned autism aides? We are working to find some drug combo that might help too, but so far no good although there are a few more to try. (That is a torturously slow path, however, as you have to carefully withdraw from one drug before slowly building up with another. And repeat...)

It's amazing to me how there is almost a conspiracy of silence about what seems to be a pretty common phase many autistic teenagers go through (just google: autism teenagers aggression). Good news: it is natural. Bad news: it can last several years. I suppose people don't want to scare other people whose kids are younger, especially as some kids won't go through it. But I have always preferred to know what might be coming at me. So here I am talking about it. :-0 I guess my other motive is to explain to people why I have seemed to have perhaps gone underground, disappeared from the "social scene" and have become worse at than ever at returning phone calls, emails, registration forms etc. We are kind of in lockdown mode over here. I am sore, tired, in a state of constant high alert and busy in way that is simply hard to describe. Here are a few pictures:

















This is when I usually get hurt...when I stop him from smashing himself in the head. Usually it is two-handed, here is the more elegant one hand version. Some kids with autism have to wear special protective headgear as many have deafened and blinded themselves, so I ALWAYS intervene when the self-injurious behaviors begin, and that's often when I become the target of aggression. If you can't smash the one you want, smash the one you're with! ;-)













My poor guy! He doesn't know what's hit him. It's heart-breaking, and we are just hoping we can keep it from becoming bone-breaking, too.

Seaside

Into cool wet sand --
a puddle-bottomed hole --
child size kingdom

Noisy Dirty Fun!

The Township had someone out power-cleaning the swings at our local park a few days ago. Adults hastened away from the noise and drenching mist but the children were enchanted: "Magic Rain! Magic Rain!" one little girl kept chanting.

Feathered Friends
Young H is the somewhat understated James Herriot of the family, and is building up quite a little pet-watching service in our neighborhood. He took Kippie the cockatiel on as a short-term boarder not long ago, and Kippie certainly added a lot of personality (and bird poop) to our household while he was here! We all felt glamorously Saint Francis-like when Kippie rode around on our shoulders.

THANKFUL THURSDAY
It's not really a meme, but wouldn't it be a good one? This sweet thank you note is from a pair of twelve year old girls who recently came to look at my studio and ask me questions about being an artist. (Hope I didn't scare them off too badly: what with my small, cold, studio and my thrift shop couture!) Not a formal "career program", these girls were just on a visit to their uncle and aunt, my friends and neighbors, who thought this might be a good idea. I enjoyed talking with these two very intelligent and well-spoken young people, and I was later charmed by their thank you note! I've pinned it up on my studio wall, with great pride.

Letting Go
If there is one thing being a parent of a kid with severe disabilities has taught me, it is "letting go." Plans, preconceptions, projections...all useless. I have heard children referred to as little zen masters by various new age parenting gurus...I wonder what they would make of my boy? The child who can't reliably remember how to say "Mommy" and mixes up the meanings of "Yes" and "No" from one day to the next. Uber Zen Master Henry!

Here is a small mysterious ritual our boy of mystery delights in. He gets a balloon at our local grocery store, carefully carrying it into the car, and then, once we get home he lets it go. Sometimes he waits till we are in the front yard, sometimes it is directly upon getting out of the car. Once in a while he releases it even in the grocery store's parking lot, but usually he waits till we get home. An excellent symbolic reminder to his struggling mother!

let it go -- by e.e. cummings
let it go-the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise-let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go-the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers-you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go-the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things-let all go
dear
so comes love

HENRY WAS HERE
last weekend and becoming distracted by a ringing phone or a buzzing timer I allowed him to do his chore (putting away the clean cutlery) without supervision. Here is the result of that! He'd slammed the door shut and put the cutlery basket back into the dishwasher and skedaddled before I came to inspect! How can someone be so clued in to the ramifications of his actions (Mom will be angry that I did not do the chore right so I better get out of here) yet so profoundly not care (Nonetheless I cannot be bothered to do the chore right unless she is standing over me) at the same time!?! Welcome to Autism, Henry-style.

Well, the chore-avoidant boy just landed himself on a new book cover recently, and here it is:

You can find out more about the book here. I took this shot a couple of years ago on our front porch (the light is superb for portraits there) during a fit of happy giggles. Nobody can laugh like Henry does...he laughs with his whole being!

CHEF SON
What a watershed event! My recently-turned-12-son H suggested that he cook dinner last night, and then he went ahead and did it. No prompting! The menu was hamburgers, gravy, pasta and spinach. Paul and I were simply floored!

Not only that but H did an excellent job: the meat was tender, the pasta at perfect tooth, and the spinach correctly drained and tossed with a little butter. The whole family went back for seconds and gave him the ultimate compliment: no leftovers!

A MOMENT
last weekend, Paul with Henry. Henry is still very babyish in many ways, despite being six foot one and a hundred and eighty-five pounds. He is not quite as tall as Paul, but outweighs him easily. Still likes a "horsey ride" although he will soon be too big for this particular horsey!

Fleeting

The baby's warm foot,
dangling free: round, fragrant, soft-
next spring running hard.


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My prompt, fleeting, is this week's theme over at One Single Impression, a haiku writer's hang-out. It's interesting to see other people's interpretations of the theme. Why not join in the fun?

Picking Beans
rain-washed and
mouth-ready.